Dear Daniela,
First of all, I am sorry for the delay. I kept trying to write this letter and kept getting emotionally overwhelmed each time. But now, with your own wedding fresh in your mind, I have TWO reasons to write—well, probably many more than that.
First, congratulations. For someone whose job it is to celebrate others’ love and joy, it is FINALLY your time to be celebrated, to be surrounded by the people you love most and simply be in the moment—or as much in the moment as you allowed yourself without trying to take charge of anything. You make so many couples’ dreams come true, and I just hope the day was everything you dreamed of and more. I know being a bride isn’t easy; I know stepping into the spotlight when you prefer to be behind the scenes feels almost impossible. But there are hundreds of people who want to rejoice in your beauty, joy, kindness, and love. Luckily, you didn’t have to invite hundreds, but know that there is an international crowd of clients, vendors, Instagram lurkers—you name it—who are looking on, reveling in the opportunity for you to be center stage and appreciated. I wish you both another lifetime of happiness because I know you have already had one together. I wish you both true respect and partnership and unwavering appreciation, affection, and balance. No one is more deserving. Within love and friendship lies mutual understanding and appreciation, and while I have never met your new husband, I can imagine the balance and deep-seated joy he brings to your life. That kind of love, where someone truly sees and honors who you are at your core, is what makes a marriage not just survive but flourish. I hope your wedding day reminded you of that beautiful truth, and I hope every day since has been filled with that same recognition and celebration of the extraordinary person you are.
Part two: the thank you. I know I wrote your team letters, and there is SO much more I could say to all of you—Christiana, Viola, Fedora, and anyone else reading this email. I can only reiterate how miraculous you all are and how lucky I feel to have had you as part of our team. I enjoyed every second of wedding planning: every email, call, decision, budget recap, napkin folding, mis-measured tablecloth—you name it. And that was in part because waking up and getting to collaborate with this team was an absolute dream.
Daniela, as you know, like you, I prefer to be in the wings. I am much happier designing and directing than standing in a spotlight (ironic for someone who was an actor). From day one, you gave me the confidence, freedom, and perspective to allow me to attempt to plan our wonderful weekend. As soon as we spoke that first day, I knew you were the only person I could work with. I knew immediately that there wasn’t anyone else I would even stand a chance of “letting go” with for the actual wedding. I still feel like I could have gone in a million different directions and made a million different decisions, but you always kept me grounded and helped guide me toward an end vision and beautiful moment.
You do not need me to tell you that you are the queen of organization and structure—EVERYONE tells you that—and you also know that I disagree with anyone who says you aren’t nice. I know you make every bride feel like the number one priority; I know you treat each wedding with equal care and attention, and I still do not know how you find the time or energy to do so. But you truly, truly made me feel so loved and cared for. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but when you helped create it, it was so much more than a “wedding.”
Cliff and I had no questions about getting married. We were originally happy to run off to a courthouse and call it a day. As you might have been able to see, there weren’t really “nerves” in the sense of first looks or walking down the aisle—there was never a question of our partnership—but the big question was: how do we honor Fronzola and our friends and family with this moment? What you truly did was create a love letter. It was a love letter to a home that has been in my soul my whole life. You honored a home and house that has a hold on my heart, that taught me to believe in magic and beauty and discover what peace could really feel like. You helped us compose a thank you to the people in our village who have been our chosen family, whom we could honor and celebrate (even when they weren’t as professional as you like). You created an opportunity for us to be with friends who hadn’t seen each other in decades, for a father who, in poor health, could take his first-ever trip outside of the US and see the art he has always dreamed of, for a cousin who has been deeply ill for over a year to have a core memory trip with her daughter and be surrounded by a support system, and so, so, so much more.
You made a place where our family and friends could truly take a deep breath, could laugh and dance and eat far too much, honoring the deepest meaning of love and community. You really do work miracles—there is no other word for it. I am devastated I don’t get to speak to you all each week; I would love nothing more than to continue creating beautiful parties and challenging suppliers to come up with more tablecloths. I am sure everyone says this to you, but I truly hope we stay in touch. I hope that someday there will be some way I can repay you for everything you have done and the friendship you have instilled in me. We are your biggest fans (although I will challenge Cliff for the title). I am more than aware that wedding planning is anything but easy, that the job is to make the impossible look effortless. You once referred to wedding planning as being a surgeon as taking a moment that requires the utmost trust and care and precision and while (hopefully) no one has needed medical attention at any of your weddings, the analogy is spot on. You carry a moment in people’s lives that is so complicated by emotion, by family, by expectation and give others the chance to relax into it trusting that everything will be ok, that you understand the importance and hold hearts and hopes in your hand with equal respect and measure. Thank you, thank you for the most special time in our lives that everyone will cherish and carry with them, and thank you for your friendship.
I miss you and am so, so grateful for you!
xxxEmma